Why Do We DO That? (Eating because we ate)

“Georgie, I’d be curious to hear your take on why people turn to the behavior of giving up or splurging after one small slip. I understand all the reasons it makes no sense… but I don’t understand all the reasons that so many of us act this way anyhow!”

Eating because I ate. It’s funny isn’t it? While the exact mix of reasons is fairly individual, there are some common themes I witness in my clients. It’s cognitively painful to act out of line with our values. (Cognitive dissonance; we don’t like it). So if we have eaten one thing that we feel bad about, telling ourselves that we “don’t care about our weight today” makes us feel less-bad about it. Telling ourselves we “can’t stop”, “fell into the cookies” or other phrases that imply powerlessness also make us feel somehow less responsible and ease the sting of self-blame. If we weren’t or aren’t in control, we feel less blameworthy and less responsible to change. The continuation of undesired behavior – aka slashing the other three tires after getting a flat – likewise has a few subtle benefits:

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1. If we give up on trying to make good decisions, we are off the hook for the rest of the decisions we make. It’s kind of abdicating responsibility.

2. We often tell ourselves we’ll “never do this again” so of course we want to get it all in now if the cookies are going to be off limits. They just got much more valuable by being forbidden.

3. This is a tricky one to verbalize, but there’s a kind of temptation at times to make our situations WORSE. Like a benevolent knight will come in, see how badly we are floundering, and help us! It can feel like if someone only knew what happened to me, they would help. Like an imaginary audience. And sometimes, we need to hit rock bottom ourselves for various reasons. For example, to ask for help.  Or, because we’ve learned an all out meltdown can help us bounce back, pick ourselves up, organize a spreadsheet of macros, and be hardcore dieters tomorrow.

So my tips hinge on accepting your own power and responsibility, and losing the blame. If you don’t hate on or judge yourself yourself for eating something in the first place (it’s just tasty food, not a moral crime) and refuse to diet the next day, the cycle has no way of taking place. And, it does also mean gently seeing and accepting that you are the one in control. You hold the key to solving all your own problems, so it’s okay if the knight never shows up, you can help yourself better than anyone else can. And just like you could fall in love with the white knight…. that’s where the come though for yourself –> thank yourself –> like yourself –> love yourself thing gets going.

Lastly, I want to reiterate that it is NOT “irresponsible people” who slip into this – it’s actually people who hold up SO much responsibility in their conscious lives (often perfectionists) whose brain without their permission wants to be let off the hook. We can crumble under our own expectations of doing it all, being it all, and eating perfectly. People who fall into this trap are not fools, and not lazy. They are often the most hardworking, nicest, want to do everything right all the time individuals. Which also makes it an even more upsetting experience.

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Mississippi Mud Cups

Double layers of chocolatey fudgey goodness in a personal size, just-right portion. Ahhhhhhhh. (You do not taste the coconut, at least I can’t, it’s all just chocolatey. If you WANT to taste it, try using unrefined coconut oil.) You could sub butter for the coconut oil if you like, and sugar in place of the Splenda. Milk chocolate will work too. It’s very forgiving. I made four …. just because. You can obviously make more if you like. I like small batches because we enjoy them for two days and then don’t have dozens around. Which means if I want to play with a different recipe in a few days I can!

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Crust:

2 tablespoons coconut flour
2 tablespoons Splenda granulated
1 tablespoon cocoa powder
1 tablespoon coconut oil (I use refined because I don’t want to taste it)
pinch of salt

Filling:

2 ounces 73% dark chocolate
1/2 cup almond milk
2 tablespoons peanut flour
4 tablespoons Splenda granulated
pinch salt
dash vanilla (I just add a dribble from the bottle)

 

1. Mix the crust ingredients in a bowl, it will form damp clumps. Divide most of the crumbs (save 10% of it or so) with a teaspoon into 4 silicone muffin molds and press down to pack into a layer in the bottom. The reserved crumbs are for topping.

2. In a small saucepan, combine all the filling ingredients except the vanilla. Heat and stir while chocolate melts. Keep stirring and heat until it starts boiling, let it boil for a few seconds then turn heat off. (It will thicken as it cools). Stir in vanilla, and pour into the muffin molds. Top with reserved crumbs.

3. Refrigerate 2 hours or until firm. (About as firm as cheesecake, so not HARD but firmer than pudding.) Carefully wiggle the muffin mold to loosen sides, push from the bottom and you can gently take it out whole.

Makes 4 cups

Nutrition Facts (per each cup):  149 calories, 10 g fat, 10 grams of carbs, (4 g fiber), 3 g protein

 

 

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September Group Coaching FAQ

We’ve had a ton of interest in our next group coaching cohort! Today we answer the most common questions about the group program.

If you missed it, read here to learn all about why two people can both lose weight, but only one keeps it off. Plus we make a great coaching offer.

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Q: Will there be exercise programming, or guidance?

A: Exercise is an important component of long term weight loss. However research and experience tells us that the exact kind of exercise is often not that important. We will both provide an exercise routine to follow if you like it, but if you want to do your own thing, that is fine and we’ll certainly help you with principles. That said, individualized programs would be cost prohibitive.

Q: How does the group keep in contact?

A: Everyone will be assigned to a small “super friends group”, and everyone will have access to the whole cohort, all on Facebook. There will be daily interaction with your super friends group on FB, but if super friends choose, they can contact each other any means that supports them. You will be getting an email each Monday from your coach, and of course you’ll have daily access to your coach through FB and emails.

Q: I live in a different country, food availability is different, is this okay?

A: We coach people from all over the world and location doesn’t matter much. We coach principles and habits, so we won’t be giving specific food recommendations either, what you have available will work just fine.

Q: Will you give me a meal plan?

A: No meal plans. They aren’t sustainable and our focus is on habits that last you a lifetime, you’ll thank us for this in the end.

Q: How much weight will I lose?

A: That varies from person to person. Average weight loss with our system is 0.5 – 1 pound per week. Since we focus on changing habits the weight loss isn’t usually as fast as if a person did a diet, but it is permanent. We’ve had people lose around a pound a week for a year, and we’ve had people not lose anything for a month. It really isn’t about the weight loss first, it is about habits that will assure your success for a lifetime. So some people have more habits to change than others to see the scale move, so the scale starts moving right away for some participants, but others need to get a few habits in place before things get going. Sooner or later though, mastering these habits produces lasting weight loss.

Q: I’m a competitive athlete and train very hard, will this work with me?

A: Absolutely. We have Olympians, we have athletes at every level, and they all master habits that help them succeed. We may need to help you individualize more, but the basic habits apply to everyone.

Q: Is twenty four weeks enough time to master the habits, and will twelve habits be enough?

A: We work on a habit for two weeks before going onto the next one. This is in fact not enough time for most to master it. This is enough time to master it enough to be able to do it with relative ease though. So to make the habit truly stick you need to keep practicing them for around two months on average. As for whether the twelve habits are enough is individual, for some yes, for some there are other habits to work on as well. We’ll be here to help those people too.

Q: How long is the program?

A: Currently 24 weeks. If there is interest in a longer program with other habits, we’ll consider it.

Q: How much time will this take?

A: The coaching will be a few minutes a day. The habits that you work on will need some attention and really it would be impossible to say how much time you’ll be spending. However you will be working on habits that will integrate into your life, so in no time I’d suggest that you won’t spend much extra time on them.

Q: I have a medical condition and dietary restrictions, is this right for me?

A: Absolutely. We don’t prescribe diet at all actually, that is up to your medical team. We do however have an RD that understands those issues and we accommodate them. Our system works with any diet actually.

Q: I’ve done another popular group coaching program, how is yours unique?

A: The owners of this company have both been coaches for a popular coaching program and in effort to be more effective we’ve made things different. For one we teach you how to master habits. You can apply this to any habit, it is science based, other programs only give you habits to do assuming that if you do them for enough time that you’ll form a habit. We know this not to be true, and our program equips you to make them stick.

Also we provide daily support and structure things in such a way to maximize it. You’ll be a part of a super friends group, in which you will have daily contact to be supportive and to get the support you need. You won’t ever be discouraged from emailing your coach either, as some companies do. In short you’ll always have what you need to succeed.

Plus we are collaborative, not competitive. We won’t be giving cash awards for a modeling contest. We will be giving cash awards for the most consistent habit builder and the most supportive person. That’s the values that matter to us, not some photo contest that we can use to sell our program.

With us the habits get scaled for you, in fact we teach you how to effectively do this yourself for any habit. Success is assured when the challenge is appropriate. Other programs only give you the habit to work on and that is it.

Q: What happens after the six months?

A: You may be successful enough already, however you can keep going if you like working on new habits, or you can join our one on one coaching.

Q: How customized is the group program for individuals?

A: You will work on the same habits as the group, however you’ll always adjust the habit to fit your ability and needs. At times you’ll have the habit down pat, at that time you’ll be helping your teammates master the habit, and you’ll work with the habit formation process, furthering your own abilities.

There are limited spots left, get them now. Click the button below and we’ll get you on your way to being permanently lean.

Just $97 per month with no contract:




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Diets don’t work, this does.

This was a huge success last time, so we’re doing it again.

Let me tell you about a hypothetical set of twins.

On a beautiful spring afternoon, ten years ago, twenty nine year old twins were at the park with their families. They were very much alike. Both were in love with their husbands who adored them back. Both were personable, successful, educated and had desire to live a full and happy life. Both had a child, each was five years old. There was just one thing that was bothering them both.

On that beautiful day both were getting winded playing with the children, for they were both around forty pounds overweight. After some soul searching and some talking they both decided to lose the weight.

After a year they were both successful. Each had exercised, each had embraced healthy eating, and each had lost the forty pounds. But there was a difference.

Fast forward to today. One of the twins is now fifty pounds heavier, often unnecessarily feeling shameful, and is down at the bookstore browsing the diet section looking to start yet another diet.

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The other is loving being active, has kept the weight off and doesn’t think about it anymore. She’s spending her energy on living life and having fun. She’s planning a trip to Italy with her daughter. She’s free.

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What made the difference

Have you ever wondered, as I used to, what makes this kind of difference in people’s lives? It isn’t always a native intelligence, or talent, or dedication. It isn’t that one person wants success and the other doesn’t. It isn’t the best diet plan either.

The difference is that successful people adopt permanent, stress free behaviors that become habits. The people that don’t succeed are the ones that are always on a program, on another diet, never making permanent changes.

What happens when you diet? The diet ends. Which is only good for someone selling you another diet book, or their “special foods”.

That’s why I’m writing you today, to help you end the dieting madness and become lean for life, and to make you an offer that I think you’ll like.

A weight loss program like no other

We’re unique, our program is the only program that combines the following:

  • Habit based. There are a lot of people and programs talking about being habit based, but they don’t teach you how to master them. We’ve all tried to do something every day and it didn’t work. We teach you how to actually make your habits work with our science based 4 step process.
  • Evidence based. Every part of our program is research backed. We focus on nutrition obviously, but just as important is the psychological aspect of change.
  • Proven to work. We’ve coached thousands successfully to lose tons of fat. Many online programs are coached by people that haven’t actually coached before.
  • Suitable for everyone. For our habit based system to be the best program out there we needed to be confident it was good enough to work for everyone. It had to work for busy executives, stay at home moms, elite athletes and everyone else. It did. Cross country skiing, gold medalist Chandra Crawford used our habit based system to stay in shape for years. Other Olympians too. I bet you would have thought that Olympians get special treatment? Their needs are indeed different but the coaching system is the same for everyone.
  • Easy. To work in real life our system has to be as stress free as possible. And it is. You won’t be burdened with weird point systems of tracking, weighing your food for the rest of your life, or anything like that. You’ll learn easy habits.
  • Empowerment. By the time you are done with us you won’t ever need to have a coach again. You’ll be able to master any habit, not just nutrition habits, and you’ll understand your own unique nutrition needs.
  • Each habit is tailored to your specific needs. Other habit based programs give everyone the same habit and it is up to you to do it. This doesn’t work for over half the people. With us the habit gets scaled to your level.
  • Support, not competitiveness. Often other coaches will assume that you being in a group is all the support that you need. It isn’t. We built our program to ensure that you get the support you need, every single day. It comes from your coach, and your peers. In fact all members help each other out. We even give cash awards to people for helping their team mates out. We encourage collaboration, not competition.
  • You learn to trust your body. To make success permanent we capitalize on your best resource, your body. We’ll teach you to know exactly how much to eat and when, without counting calories. You’ll learn to use your body signals appropriately to remove the guess work.
  • Hunger won’t be a problem. To make you as comfortable as possible we’ve researched a ton about hunger and satiety. Every part of our program reflects the latest research in appetite and satiety regulation; we’ve spared no detail because we want you to be as satisfied as possible.
  • Eat the foods you like. Unlike diets we don’t eliminate foods, or use restrictive rules. You literally can eat whatever you choose, we’ll never judge your choice. Instead we teach you how to be flexible and still succeed.
  • Motivation stays high. We’ve all started something full of motivation only to have it fizzle. There is science to motivation and our program maximizes it. Part of that is the high level of autonomy that you’ll have. We support and guide you, but you are the one in charge of your plan.
  • Right focus. We focus on behaviors, not on outcomes. Outcomes are great, we all want to achieve those goals, but the research shows us that focusing on them is less successful than focusing on the daily behaviors. Our program always focuses on the habits and the behaviors needed to stick to them. We’ll keep your efforts productive by funneling your energy into actions.
  • Right exercise. There are a ton of myths about exercise. How much, what type, etc.? While we don’t give individualized exercise plans (that would cost way too much), we guide you towards programs that work. It turns out that most people think they have to do way more than what they actually do, to lose weight

Our fall offer

Our one on one coaching program is currently $99 to sign up and $149 per month. We anticipate that the monthly rate to work privately with a coach will go up to $197 a month in the near future. That means, in a six month period you would spend $1281.

For this fall, we’re making a special offer: you can join our September 8th small group cohort, for six months, for only $97 a month, with no contract. That’s a savings of $699 over private coaching at the upcoming price.

But we want to make the deal even better. At the end of the cohort we’ll be awarding two prizes. One for the most consistent on habits, and one for the most helpful teammate. Each will win $500 cash. There are other programs that give cash away for a beauty contest, I’ll let you imagine what sort of things people are willing to do to win. We don’t believe in that, we want to reward the behaviors that make you great, not add photos to our marketing database.

Put your name and email in the form below to get on our notification list, and receive the invitation to sign up for the September 8th start.


Or better yet, guarantee your spot right now by signing up below. It’s only $97 a month. Oh, and by the way, we won’t hold you on any contracts, if you want to cancel at anytime, no problem. So you really have nothing to lose.




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What’s the healthiest and safest cookware?

My name is Gabe Patton and I am a trainer for Mike Boyle. I am writing to you because I have been repeatedly asked a question that I am not sure how best to answer: What are the healthiest/safest materials to cook and bake with? I’ve tried to do some research but have found lots of conflicting information. I’ve read about ceramic, cast iron, stainless steel, etc, but am still not much closer to an answer. Do you have a strong opinion one way or the other? I appreciate any input you can provide. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you. – Gabe

Hi Gabe! Nice to meet you!

Truthfully, there aren’t that may ways that cookware is UNHEALTHY in any way. Most of what you may have heard is either outright fallacy, or fear mongering from a company that wants to make their product sound superior when no significant difference exists. When you make cookware, there just aren’t that many ways to differentiate your line from the competition, so “we’re safe, the other guys will poison you!” has become a go-to.

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For the average consumer, worrying about the type of cookware they use is a preferred distraction from the real issue: they would gain a lot more health benefits from being more selective over the FOOD in the cookware than worrying about the type of pan.

That said, some thoughts:

  • Claims that aluminum leads to Alzheimers are downright false.
  • Claims that nonstick coatings are bad for humans are also inflated and have not been substantiated by research. I believe there is a gas produced in the manufacturing of some nonstick coatings, but either way this does not effect the end consumer, and if we’re driving cars around, those are producing a far more toxic fumes into the atmosphere than the manufacturing of our cookware. (Even if you own a commercial kitchen FULL of it.)
  • While cooking with a nonstick pan is not a problem, you don’t want to EAT the nonstick coating. And it can flake or scratch off if you use metal spatulas or spoons to stir or flip things. So only plastic, rubber, silicone or wood utensils should be used with nonstick pans. Don’t scrub with anything harsh, a soft sponge or damp towel is perfect. The more you baby them the longer they last (which I guess is a $$ not health issue).
  • You don’t want to get a nonstick pan too hot with nothing in it (like leaving it on a high heat empty for 10 minutes) because it can warp the nonstick surface and ruin it. (I.e. stuff sticks to it after that) and if it gets messed up enough, it can start to flake off into your food. Heating a pan for a minute or so to get it hot before adding food, totally not to worry, but if you forget a pan on a hot stove and it starts to smoke…. it’s probably a goner and worth replacing.
  • Glass, stainless steel, ceramic, cast iron, silicone: no safety issues I can think of. Nothing to be concerned about. Only drawback is you need a heck of a lot more oil to keep things from sticking to some of these. Which is why many people prefer nonstick.
  • Silicone bakeware and baking mats are great for nonstickness and don’t need as much grease as other bakeware. Silicone mats to line baking sheets don’t need to be greased at all, and can save you lots of tin foil if you roast or bake a lot of veggies, potatoes, fish, like I do.
  • This is not about cookware BUT you DO want to avoid food storage containers made with BPA (which is in some plastics). I don’t store food in plastic, and prefer glass.
  • If you get leftovers from a restaurant to go in a styrofoam or plastic container, transfer it into something else (like a plate or bowl) to reheat. Microwaving plastics and styrofoam does release some nasty chemicals I’d prefer to avoid.

I hope this helps, let me know if there’s any other concerns I can help you or your clients with.
Georgie

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